A Cake- Not A Cookie

I believe Satan's greatest accomplishment is to have God's people wake up one morning and say there is no God. I call it the greatest seduction because even Satan knows that God's presence cannot be denied. I asked myself how could someone deny who God is, and I was ready to put Peter on the cross alongside Jesus when I first read how he denied ever knowing who Jesus was.

The same finger I pointed at Peter, I had to turn toward myself. I take back the cross part because it means I would be strung up there too. Recently I had to go through my own situation, and when God did not show up immediately I asked Him, "God if you really are who You say You are why don't You do something?"

I don't care how holy you are, it isn't easy to whistle like a kettle when heat scorches your behind. It's hard to be still and wait, especially when nothing seems to be taking place. I mean if its going to rain I need to see some clouds or something.

One of the first things my Mom taught me to do in the kitchen was bake a cake from scratch. I couldn't understand how the cake batter would become the cake that I grew up enjoying. She stuck it in the oven, and I watched and watched, I tried to open the oven for a closer look and then Mom quickly stopped me explaining that to open the oven before time would cause the cake to sink. I heard TD Jakes say that Jesus speaks to the end of a thing and it took me a while to get it. A cake may not look like a cake going into the process but it is still a cake. If I make a cake it is not coming out of the oven as a cookie. 

David was a boy when anointed a king, but went straight back to the fields to tend his sheep after the auspicious occasion. Why didn't he leave those stinky sheep alone immediately after? It took years for David to sit on a throne. If I were David I would go network with other palace officers, and find someone else to watch sheep- read some books about being a king, brush up on my speech.... but it was not needed. God already made him king and all he had to do was be still and wait. If God said it, it was so. 

But what about the years that passed with Saul still being king, and the perils he went through when Saul threatened his life. It didn't matter because in the end he would still be King. God speaks to the end. He says I am healed so the end result will be my healing. It doesn't mean that I won't get sick, at the end of the journey I will be healed. Why worry about the process when God promises a great end result.The cake is in the oven, it takes time and some heat, but the end is a cake- not a cookie.

Anonymous Writer

Blessings Too Many to Count

I have gone through a period in my life where I found myself focusing on all the things that just aren't going right- ongoing doctor's visits, financial setbacks, and I cannot leave out the fact that I still don't get an answer when I open the door to my house and shout "honey I'm home" to the walls. Just one night Lord, I want to be able to tell the girlfriends that I can't make it to movie night because my 'boo' and I have plans. Why does it seem that nothing works in my favor? It's always something.

A mood like this called for a bit of mall therapy, so I yielded to the urge. While browsing past store after store, a passerby swooshed by me unlike the ones that I previously encountered; a woman in a wheelchair with no feet who was quite engaged in her Christmas shopping. Though it was just a light breeze that brushed by, it knocked the wind out of me.

I honestly wondered, what motivates her to get out of bed to face the day? I looked down at my feet. It was as if it were the first time that I noticed they were there. I have had several health obstacles but I can still walk from store to store. I often take for granted the fact that God has brought me through a childhood battle with Leukemia. It's been over twenty years since then. Why do I take my life so lightly?

Why do I hit the panic button every time the doctor sends me for another test, when my life bears decades of evidence of His power. Cancer, blood transfusions, surgeries, cut off from job promotions, self esteem problems, NO MAN...... a family that loves me, friends that have my back, a house, a car, a church home, creative abilities, a Master's degree, a working mind, a God (Jesus) who loves me so much that He always comes through. 

Turn the flash light on while the sun is out and it really has no effect, but it's amazing how much you can see in the dark when that little bulb goes on. Sometimes darkness forces us to shed light on those blessings in our lives that otherwise go unnoticed.

Anonymous Writer

Inevitable Darkness

While growing up in the islands I was quite familiar with lights being out. Being prepared for an electricity issue was a year round practice- somewhat like life. When the lights go off in life it seems like they go all at once. Confusion, depression, anger, frustration all seem to avalanche at once. Last Sunday I left church, and ooh was the spirit of God flowing. I did all the antics; jumped- check, twirled around- check, danced, spoke, in tongues and even ran around the church- check, check, check. Then darkness struck.

This Sunday during praise and worship they sang the song about oceans rising and thunders roaring, voices belt out "I will soar with you above the storm". It was about this time that my words got a bit slurred. I wasn't brave enough to go there.. I had enough with the storms. Singing that song meant that I had to go through another storm- another period of darkness. I will opt out of this one I'll just hum the song this time. For the entire week I skipped over parts of the Bible that even hinted darkness. I was reading Psalms 23 and I started off really well; God was providing for me, I was lying next to still waters and I was taking restored and righteous walks. Then came doom again- it was time to find another chapter and verse. My conversation with God that followed was a very frank one. Lord why should I trust salvation if i have to go through the same turmoil the unbeliever goes through? What's my WIIFM. If I trust you, What's In It For Me? It then occurred to me that though darkness was inevitable, it was short- lived. I flashed back to periods of darkness that I had come through to research the benefits of having God as my side-kick:

1. His presence confirmed that he would never leave me or forsake me, even when others 
   did.
2. He got the hook-up. During the time when I needed it most He would put me in the path of      
     people who made a difference in my life.
3. He created me, so He more than anyone else knows how to navigate me through my 
     storm. Who do we go to when our valuable electronic gadgets malfunction- the designer      
     right?
4. Even when I bring the darkness on myself, He is there and I don't have to hear " I told 
      you so". I can't count how many times I have turned off the lights myself one by one, 
      knowing that one night of bliss would result in a seemingly unending period of being lost.
     He is there waiting to give me directions, and He knows that despite my promise to stay
     out of trouble once He gets me out of my present one, He will be throwing out the                    
     life-saver raft again.

Every season of darkness helps me see the character of my God in a greater light. I have no choice but to trust Him.  
I can't swim so I don't get into the water without my noodle float. I am not about to go through my storms without Him.

Anonymous Writer

Who turned Off the Lights (Part1)

Since daylight savings time ended, I can't count how many times I have heard people say how much they don't like the fact that darkness seems to come sooner. I have to admit that I sometimes agree. Unfortunately darkness has had attached to it a seemingly unshakable negative stigma. Think about it if I said the word "darkness" what things immeditiately come to mind? Ironically though darkness serves its own strengthening processes. Why didn't God get rid of darkness totally when He created light? Probably because He knew we would never quiet down from our oh so important lives. Even nature replenishes itself at night. In the same way there are things in us that God uses darkness to replenish, remove or reverse.

The light went out in my hallway leaving the staircase in my home pitch black. The first night it happened other lights at the top of the staircase were also off so I decided to venture up the stairs to my room in darkness. I used the walls as a guide and was at the top of the staircase before I knew it. Would I have depended on the walls or railings in the light? I would have dashed up the stairs like second nature. It occurred to me that when I have a job, money or the relationships I take for granted, I sometimes trade in my God sensitivity-  the appreciation for the very presence of the power of God that protects me from day. I can see too much on my own, so I take most things for granted. But someone who is physically blind experiences a physical darkness in sight yet their hearing becomes so much sharper. 

When I pick up the phone, and no one is available on the other end, and I can't see touch or hear the solutions to my issues. I have no other choice but to trust Him. While going up the stairs in darkness it never occurred to me that the railing or the walls I held on to would cave in. I trusted that they were firm enough to hold  me up, but isn't God even more effective in my life? I am learning that my dark periods are the opportunities for me to tune in to Him even more. Instead of complaining about the darkness, or praying for it to be over with, I try to seek God's purpose for me in that season. It is definitely not always easy to think about the good in the darkness. At times I've used darkness as an excuse to cut up- do my own thing- DO ME.

When I was four years of age,my Mom wanted to punish me for something I did, so she put me in the her bathroom, turned of the light and closed the door. I decided to correct the situation for myself by turning the light back on. Did she think I was just going to sit in the dark? . She would open the door, and turn it off again. I turned it back on a couple of times until I got it. If I stopped doing it she would let me out sooner. Ever got your car stuck in mud? The more you try to rev the car out the more you got stuck. My favorite scripture is Romans 8:28 because it says that everything in my life works out for good. This meant that even the bad things- the darkness, worked for good, but how? It meant that I had to gain something from my darkness, I had to use it as a teachable moment instead of a chance to run my mouth.


Anonymous Writer

Hold On To Your Balloon

I remember my daughter as a little girl and how excited she was to receive a balloon. I had to make sure I wrapped it around her wrist and tie a knot so she wouldn't lose it. She walked with pride and joy as people passed by smiling at her and her balloon. But when the knot became loose and her balloon floated away she was devastated, I mean she cried and was hurt.

If only we cherished our bodies like my daughter did that balloon. We've become so numb to the value and sensitivity of a young lady's virginity or a woman's celibacy. To be honest we're just giving our bodies away not realizing that a little piece of our soul goes with it. Of course the music and videos and reality tv is promoting sex as power, making it seem as if women act like men they are in control; but are we? Isn't there more power in saying no? I remember going out with girls and how good it felt when a man approached me and told me I was beautiful and doted on me as he worked his way up to that final, "can I get your number". Then the great feeling of knowing that I had the power to say "thank you, but no thanks" as I walked away. What happened to those days? Have we devalued ourselves so much that we're just giving ourselves away to any cutie with a hot ride, only for him to send you home after he's done and never call you again? He didn't even take a moment to get to know you. A young lady who values her body is like a precious rare gem; everyone wants it but only the one who studies and toils to find it will have it. The harder you are to obtain, the more you are desired. Make those men punch in and work for your attention nevertheless your body.

Ladies; especially my young ladies, take your time with this sex thing. If I could go over my list of sexual encounters and erase HALF of them I would because they didn't matter. I gave them a piece of me and when they took it, I no longer had value to them. That feeling of being wanted and pursued was gone, leaving a woman yearning to be desired again and so the cycle continues. Know the true value of yourself is within and a man must seek that first in order to value you as a whole, otherwise we are just objects. You have the power! Walk down the street with pride and joy as they admire from afar, because they know your not giving it away. Hold on to your balloon!

Anonymous Writer

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

We all have a favorite food or drink, one that we could enjoy day or night. Among other beverages Wendy's chocolate Frosty just calls to me. There were quite a few nights when, I found myself at the drive through at 11:45pm aiming to satisfy these cravings. The funny thing is, I think I am lactose intolerant because it goes down really good, but wreaks havoc on my digestive system. A few days pass by and there I am collecting my cup and straw at the check-out window. You know I have to make that slurpy sound with the straw just to make sure that no drop is left behind. I was doing this one day and it occurred to me; am I really putting this much passion into the real desires of my heart? If God does not see my passion, why would he waste his resources on me?

I enjoy reading of God's power, especially when it manifested in the miracles Jesus performed. There is one miracle that took a while for me to really come to grips with though. "Jesus, did you really have to spit in the man's eye?" Jesus being the great healer, could have found so many show stopping ways to heal the blind man, but spit? Yeahhh! He stopped the show alright. Spit? Degrading, dirty, embarrassing.... but to the blind man who would have done anything to see, it was healing. 

Sometimes I desire things, and wonder why I have to wait so long to see these things come to pass, but am I willing to do whatever it takes. A part of receiving is stretching out. I learned to see Jesus as a gentleman; he does not throw things at me. What if your friend bought you a gift, and instead of handing it to you they just dropped it in your lap? I am sure you would like to properly receive it. Some of us get really hot at the check-out counter when the cashier refuses to  give us the change in our hand. Stretching needs to occur.

God needs to see that we really desire the things we ask for, and desire them for the right reasons. Strong desire does not mean that we agree to be spat on, but sometimes receiving means putting forth an effort when it isn't always comfortable. Maybe I need to choose to forgive someone, before God can bless me in another area, or choose to forgive myself. Neither of these behaviors are comfortable but, the healing produced is ground- breaking. 

Maybe stretching out means turning that plate down to spend more time in His presence. For many of us "fast" is a word that just doesn't have a place in the dictionary. I remember when I first started fasting, midnight to 6 pm meant that I would eat as though it was my last supper at 11:45pm the night before, and at 5 pm I would start preparing the greatest feast. It would be plated by 5:59, I would bless it for the next minute. By 6pm if the prayer didn't last the full minute, I would ensure that the fork was heaped with food as the last seconds went by. As the clock struck six the food was in my mouth. I learned that really receiving my desires, demanded discipline.

Sometimes effort means obedience to God even when it doesn't make sense. How do I give tithe, when it isn't even enough to pay the bills? I' ll just take my bathroom break around offering time. What if God took a bathroom break, when I wanted Him to bless me?

I realize that in most cases when Jesus worked a miracle in someone's life, he required their effort in  some way, when He could have just said the word. They were interactive because it taught receivers to trust even when they did not know what the end result was going to be. At a wedding He changed water into wine by asking for jugs to be filled with water. I could just imagine what was going through the minds of those filling the jugs. Sometimes getting the desires of your heart simply means doing your part, as tedious or senseless as it may seem. Or even when change is not apparent. The Bible also tells of ten lepers approaching Jesus for healing, and strangely He never healed them in the way most expected. To their requests He returned another, by asking them to go and show themselves to the priests. It was during this journey that they saw the evidence of their healing. Sometimes when we want something so badly it is frustrating when we seem to be getting closer but still no fire. We walk away to soon. 

"I am a leper and this man seems to be my last resort. They say He is a great healer yet we approach Him, and instead of manifesting His power, He tells me to go to the priests."  My own " Doubting Thomas" tendencies would would have led me to believe the this man was a joker. What if they didn't obey, and just gave up because they had not seen immediate healing?

How bad do you want it? When you are required to stretch, will you be content to take the scraps that happen to fall in your lap, or will you push. Think of a woman giving birth- the baby is already there, but the joy of holding him/her does not come without the push; painful, uncomfortable, sometimes scary, but WORTH IT!

Anonymous Writer

Who Comes First?

Having a baby is a wonderful blessing, a gift from God but for some young parents after the initial news the "novelty" wears off and so many people take this for granted. Your own lives and interests become top priority and this precious little gift becomes more of a burden than a blessing. You begin to pass them off on relatives and friends or anyone who will babysit so you can "do you". You become bitter and impatient and yell at them and even hit them for things they've done in innocence.

What we fail to realize is that if we just take our focus off of our selfish desires we'd awaken to the amazing life developing under our watch. Being a parent means we are responsible for not only nurturing and caring for this child but shaping, guiding and molding who they become. The biggest regret of my life was putting myself before my daughter as a young mother when she was a baby. Although I eventually got it together after being checked by my loved ones I was torn at the fact that I will never get back that time lost. She was only a one year old once and that was such an important age in her development.

There is nothing wrong with being a young parent, but there is plenty wrong with neglecting or abusing your child because you are frustrated that a decision you made is now interfering with your "life" as if they had a choice. This child IS your life and they are completely dependent on you. Embrace parenting and make a conscious decision to give this little person the best experiences life has to offer. There's no greater feeling or accomplishment than seeing your beautiful child become a wonderful person. You're all they've got, give their life a chance for greatness.

SS Blogger

Contradicting Popular Opinion

"Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. I don't care what people say about me."  Isn't it funny though that these statements often end a coversation you were carrying on with a friend, giving them a very colorful account of the very words someone said to you. The truth is unless you are emotionally paralyzed some words do tend to leave behind a lingering sting. As a matter of fact, other peoples words can negatively or positively alter our behavior in drastic ways.

At the age of seven I was diagnosed with Leukemia, and the illness consequently led to Chemotherapy and Radiation treatment. A year later I went into remission, and was able to go back to living the life of a somewhat normal child again. However, it was the doctor's responsibility to inform my parents of the unfortunate long-term symptoms of the treatment process. One of their predictions was that the radiation to my head would prohibit me from academically performing as a normal  child. As years went by, the time came for me to go to college, but I realized that my parents would take as many detours as they could when the topic came up. They tried to encourage me to attend a school where I could learn to cook, or sew, but I insisted that I wanted to go away to college. It was at this time that they revealed what the doctors had said, and their concern that I might not be able to perform at the college level. After I continued to insist they finally agreed. 

Here I was the first day of college. The day was finally here, but excitement was diluted with fear. I could not help but to replay the doctor's words in my head. I said I believed God would take me through, but I was shaking like a leaf. Will my brain shut down without a warning, or will it be a gradual process? How am I going to do this? I received my schedule of classes, and of course nosy upper class men/women asked to see my class assignments."Oh No", one interjects. "You have Jude, and you're a freshman? Man he failed so many students." Also in the office was another student announcing her intention to drop a class if this infamous instructor was teaching it. I stood there waiting for the hidden cameras to be revealed- I must have been punked! 

This man enters the class, and introduces himself, and ensures that all students know of his ability to fail, or drop anyone who does not hand in assignments that meet his standard. He never cracked a smile. Yep this is definitely a joke. What if my brain really starts shutting down. 0f course it was not long before one of his infamous exams rolled around, and the papers had been graded. He waved them from side to side voicing how disappointed he was.  One by one he began to pull apart each person's exam ensuring that at the end of his critique you would want nothing else but to crawl under the table. So guess who was not about to get in embarrassed when he got to their paper? It was time for a bathroom break- one that lasted about fifteen minutes, which gave him enough time to get past my paper. I re-entered the class room and everyone applauded as I stood there like a deer in headlights. He turned to me and stated that the quality of my work was higher than he ever expected. The paper sat on my desk with the red A+ stamped at the top.

Still nervous, I pushed through the semester fearful of what could happen with my brain.  But It was halfway though the semester when I decided not to allow myself to be a puppet to the doctor's words. I was going to conquer my contradictions. Though skilled in his profession, the doctor does not hold the remote for my destiny, God does. I did not recall any one-on-ones with God informing me that my brain which He created was no good. The last time I checked I was healed. Instead of expecting the worst I decided to take my God-given authority over the situation. I was going to do my best with every opportunity given to me. I wasn't an Einstein, significant portions of my day were devoted to studying. By the end of the first semester I had received a letter of congratulations for making the Dean's List.

I remained on the Dean's List for the duration of my college journey. The skeptics were proven wrong semester after semester, and my final two years were funded through an academic scholarship.  In May 2004, I was in my cap and gown with proud family members there to cheer me on. How did a dumb girl pull off a 3.98. GPA? I sat thinking, "what if I had succumbed to medical predictions?" 
I felt a nudge, and it was Jude (the infamous professor) who was seated on my left. I guess I was day dreaming. "You have to go up." I quickly jumped back into reality to realize that I had received the university's merit award. I got up from my chair and walked to the stage watched by thousands. I received the award and screeched my hand out to shake the hand of the dean. Refusing to settle for a handshake, he threw his arms around me, and reiterated "you did it."

Here is a challenge for you...
Take your bank card and give it to someone along with your PIN, then turn around and walk away. Better yet, the next time you go for a drive, have someone blindfold you. You drive, and let them direct you. Does this sound crazy? Even crazier is to allow someone's words to limit you from achieving what God has in store for you; your whole reason for living. 

Kentucky Fried Chicken, Colonel Sander's secret recipe, was rejected 1009 times before one restaurant finally gave him a chance. Sometimes we have to swim up-stream instead of going with the flow. LIVE ON PURPOSE!

SS Blogger

Blessed and Highly favored.... But Tired

Like in any other community, through the communication within the church environment cultural languages and phrases of expressions seem to develop. My favorite phrase is "blessed and highly favored". The words come in handy especially when you're going through turmoil on the inside, but you really can't let your brother or sister in Christ know. Remember now that you are Christian, so you should be walking on streets of gold daily just picking Skittles off the trees as you pass by. 
The truth be told- we don't always taste the rainbow. Lately the phrase  Blessed and highly favored tends to warn that there is a dot, dot, dot to follow.

I must admit that it has saved me many times. The fake smile, then follows " oh I am blessed and highly favored, then comes an inner scream- "I AM TIRED!"
Blessed but I don't see it. I left Sunday service all pumped up, and I received my promises. A day passes, two, one week, two months, one year. My fuel is running low, and my flame starts to flicker. I planned for the event, but the waiting game is draining me.

The Tantrum
Well what's the sense in going to church. Nothing is coming to pass.
My girlfriend said she wanted to invite to her house warming. What about my house Lord?
Other friends are getting married in my face, and Valentine's Day- Bah Humbug.
I just met one of the guys I graduated from college with, and he handed me his business card 
VP of Finance- hmmm I ought to throw it in the trash. I don't see the doors opening for me. 
After rolling on the floor a few times, and belting my complains I realize that this is not getting God's attention. Instead, I have gone from tired to worn out- too exhausted to even recognize a blessing if it were right in front of my face.

Learning to Wait
When I was a child I watched my mom preparing something called Roti, by placing a pizza-like dough on a flat, oiled sheet of cast iron placed on the stove. I asked her for a piece an she stated that it was not yet ready. As she turned her back I placed my hand on the blazing hot cast iron to reach the Roti. As good as it must have tasted when it was ready I was in too much pain to even think about eating anything.
I am learning that how we react during our waiting period is just as important as the blessing that follows.
Waiting on a husband/wife? Is my debt to the ceiling? Can I cook, or is he going to have pick up something on the way home everyday? I have witnessed situations where the outside meal stopped coming from a restaurant.
Do I love myself, or is he going to have to nurse me every day; no one can carry someone else forever.
How about the the house you're waiting on God for? Currently are the bills paid on time. Is your current residence clean, or are the stacks of dishes soaking in the sink.
Waiting for the promotion? What are you doing now to prepare? What skills are you willing to capture to ensure that you are always sought after in your company? Are the tithe and offerings being paid consistently out of the blessing of your current job?

One of the simplest yet most important lessons for me is learning to be thankful for what I have now. No matter what God blesses me with, there will always be someone with what SEEMS TO BE bigger or better. If I am not thankful for my now blessings, I will wear myself out trying to keep up with my environment, and miss the great vision God has for my life.

Anonymous Writer

SETTLE DOWN

Because we live in a transient era, nothing seems to be permanent or concrete. Everything is changeable....even God's wonderful creation, the human sex. And because we are significantly impacted by our environment, we find ourselves always on the move, constantly making modifications, never being satisfied. Dissatisfaction is the root of our transient behavior. Nothing seems to satisfy us long term. The satisfaction we do enjoy is temporali at best, and then we are on to the next thing. What a life.

It's time for us to take a deeper look at the meaning of settling down, or as my Jamaican friend says "settle yourself". To settle down is "to  become established in some routine, especially upon marrying, after a period of independence or indecision; to become calm or quiet; to apply oneself to serious work." We are too busy bouncing around trying to be accepted, trying to be important, trying to find happiness instead of establishing ourselves in things that really matter. If we are not physically busy, our minds pick up the slack. And the sad part about it is that our thoughts become busy, unproductive and wearisome. We all know this can be more exhausting than a full days work. So why won't we calm ourselves and settle down?

Are we afraid of committing to something grand? Or have we become complacent with chasing meager things? I personally believe it's a combination of both. Trust me, I know! 

So what's the key to this on-going and growing epidemic? FOCUS. Yes, focus. We take lightly the disorder that's become so common, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), not realizing that we display some of the typical behavior associated with this disorder, such as: the inability to concentrate for sustained periods, acting impulsively, extreme distractibility. Any of these sound exclusive? Without focus, we will never be settled in any area of our lives. Settling down will be virtually impossible. 

God desires us to settle down. The first area of settling should be spiritually. We must become settled spiritually in order for that to exuberate into our natural, daily existence. This type of settling is only accomplished through Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG) How awesome is that? When we settle down in Jesus Christ, a grace enters our lives that enables us to focus, concentrate, and act with purpose. This alone should encourage someone, knowing we don't have to do this on our own. All we have to do is BELIEVE in our hearts that Jesus Christ is our Savior and make a confession of Faith that He is Lord over our lives, in order to gain access to this great benefit. I'm not referring to a religion, I'm speaking of a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you're tired of being busy but not fulfilled, settle down in Jesus Christ, He can make that possible for you. Don't knock Him until you've tried Him. Act now!

Pastor Renee

THE CRUSH

You like him and hopes he likes you back. It's so hard to tell because he flirts with you and it feels like it's especially for you, but he flirts with the others too. So you go out of your way to win over his attention but he always seems to find something wrong with you; trying to change who you are, or he's constantly pressuring to get in your pants, or he's the typical womanizer. Now you're dealing with heartbreak, unhappiness, self humiliation, insecurity, and just mentally twisted until you feel stuck and empty. Eventually you dig up your self respect, get rid of this joker and move on to the next predator. Don't you hate this continuos cycle?

But then you find Him! He's nothing like the rest of them, He loves you exactly how you are, never turns His back on you. That acceptance you were seeking is evident and He makes you feel special. This is a real love that makes you smile every morning when you wake up and gives you a confidence to walk with your head high as you turn down the other cats hollering at you as you walk by. No one makes you feel like He does and no one ever will. This is what it is to have a relationship with God. He will build you up, make you whole, guide you, keep you safe and when you least expect it He'll send that right guy your way.

Anonymous Writer

SAMARITAN SYNDROME

The Bible mentions the inferior status the citizens of Samaria held in the eyes of the Jews. In those days as far as the Jews were concerned Samaritans were contaminated and publicly cursed. They could not serve in Jewish courts, and could never become Jews.

For this very reason a Samaritan woman almost missed out on the invaluable networking opportunity with Jesus Himself. Before even finding out who was the man asking her for a drink of water from her well, she allowed an inferiority complex to overcome her. How could she have anything to offer a Jew? Something must be wrong with this man. Does he  not know that she is a woman of Samaria? If only she knew who was gracing her presence, but to her it didn't matter. The limits ensured that all she could see was a Jew, and that she was a Samaritan- inferior and unworthy.

I know what it's like to struggle with Samaritan Syndrome. The Samaritan label seemed to trump any positive idea concerning who I was; a place of undeserving, less than, unattractive, not tall enough, hair not thick enough, unable to embrace and love me.

The seemingly normal act of walking into a room of people was near traumatic for me. 
"I know that look she doesn't like me." Those people in the corner are laughing- what are they saying about me?" That girl over there is shaped like an hour glass, I know I should have worn something else. Mmmm that man over there is the "bomb.com". He must have some model girl friend. Why is he coming over her? He probably just wants to ask me where the restroom is. I am definitely not his type. Oh, and about that job why apply? There are so many people more qualified than I am.
Every negative opinion, social stigma, and distorted view became my baggage.

Cutting it loose- DEJUNKING

Someone once told me that my glasses were the wrong prescription. Changing my lenses was the first step to accepting who I was. This meant I needed to find the facts that justified the existence of every piece of junk i dragged along. No dictionary definition or Google concept surfaced proof that I was that I was not attractive. Instead, I met people who complimented my smile, and my big heart. I also managed to find some gorgeous people who had the jacked up personalities.

Undeserving- case dismissed because of a lack of evidence. Instead, I couldn't find a ruler long enough to measure the countless blessings in my life; family, friendships, a roof over my head, health... the list goes on.

I am only disqualified if I allow myself to be. A closed door does not stop me from moving forward- that's what detours are for. As for the Jews, they do not have the power to tie my hands; I swing them around my shoulders, lift my head up, and embrace me.

Anonymous Writer

PRECIOUS

Precious- tall, Cover Girl body, and a flawless complexion,  just enough curves, and calves that command a pair of skinny jeans.  Remember no lines or sags, and definitely not the forbidden muffin top. Grey hairs must be shaved or colored.

Precious- A six-figure salary, Manager or Director title on the office door, and its all about that gold piece of metal on your shoe or hand bag ..... Prada, Gucci, Chanel. Oh yes walk that runway, you are precious.

Precious- A PHD or a rich hubby. For the men, a trophy wife is a must have. Ladies, remember your list.... Denzel features are a plus. It doesn't matter that I'm with Mr. Gorgeous, and still counting sheep to fall asleep at night

Precious- A "Social Butterfly", no less than 200 friends on Facebook, and an iPhone that's constantly blowing up. Always have places to go, or people to see- never a follower, always a leader

I read that the pearl (such a precious gem) is not that precious to the oyster that produces it. In fact it is splinter-like substance that happens to get into the oyster. In an attempt to deal with the discomfort, a coating is placed over the splinter until the pearl is formed.  Every pearl is unique.

Precious Redefined

All shapes, sizes and shades...

And my lines- they accentuate my smile. I might not be attractive to you, but every slice of bread has a cheese that's just the right flavor.

Precious- I might not earn a six figure salary but I run a fruitful business with integrity (at home as well as in the workplace). It might not be Prada, but fashion does not define me. Whether I socially fly or quietly strategize, I am still loved. I determine how large my circle of love is, not a social network. I can do the Electric Slide at my BFF's wedding instead of leaving right after the ceremony to go shop myself out of Singleness Syndrome. I rock whether I am in or out of a relationship.

Precious is loving myself with a boldness that silences the sounds of critics, and other members of my peanut gallery. Overcoming my valleys on my journey toward my mountain tops- making my splinters into a string of pearls. I strike a pose because

I AM PRECIOUS.

Anonymous Writer

HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?

"Bandz a make her dance", "Pour it Up-Pour it Up", "A$$", "Low-low-low", "Rack City", "Right Round", etc. these are just some examples of popping songs that when we hear them we like to get it crunk on the dance floor and some of us like to follow the directions of the song and "bend it over girl let me see that a-- shake...". Being a stripper has completely been glamorized as this sexy, popular, money making, desired, celebrity life style. Ladies; from experience I can tell you it is a degrading, DIRTY, disrespectful, alcohol & drug induced, violating, hustle that will swallow you up and keep you trapped until you can't find a way out. You become an object and not a person, there is a price on your precious privates and it's as cheap as one dollar. Men and women pay to put their filthy hands on you, have you grind on their genitals and the more generous you are the more money you make. 

Many of times I've found myself avoiding dangerous situations, being spoken down to by some sleeze holding cash in his hands acting as if I belong to him for that moment and I kept thinking "I am better than this". I know, I know "Shorty's working her grind, don't hate" and I don't hate, but I certainly cannot congratulate! I can only encourage that if this is your hustle make a plan to get out! 

Find what you genuinely enjoy doing and pursue that goal. You are more than "a piece of a--"; you are a beautiful, intelligent, gifted woman and there are so many opportunities in this country available to you to not just "make money" but be successful. Close your eyes and envision yourself preparing a life and future for you and your children and have a healthy relationship with that special someone who will love and respect you. Look in the mirror and see yourself as more than just those beautiful curves. You are in control of your destiny, just seek your goal and reach for it. Don't stop pushing and don't quit. It may be hard work, but remember you're worth it...because God said so!

Anonymous Writer

IT'S TIME TO LET IT GO

We all have experienced offense in some way or form, by something or someone. Sadly, this all too familiar act too often becomes an impediment instead of a stepping stone for some. I've come to the conclusion based on my own experience, that in order to keep my life healthy and productive, I have to be  willing to let things and people go when they've offended me. If offense is overworking your soul, do something about it. Stop walking around offended and regain your peace. Here's a good way to start:

1. FORGIVE
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

2. COMMIT TO LETTING GO
Some things take time to let go, so commit to changing, because you recognize that you're only hurting yourself by not letting go.Carrying around negative feelings drain your resources.Not letting go adds more stress and anxiety to your mindset and physical body. 

3. EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE TO MOVE ON
Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others, and shouldn’t try. But you can control your actions and your thoughts. Stop reliving the hurt, and choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to exercise it. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

4. UNDERSTAND YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Try to figure out how or if you could have been partially responsible for what happened. Realize that you are not a victim but a participant in life.

5. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT
Realize that the past is over. It isn’t happening anymore, except in your mind. Bring your focus back to the present moment. Find the joy in life now, as it happens, and stop reliving the past.You may start thinking about the past, but just acknowledge that, and gently bring yourself back to the present 

6. ALLOW PEACE TO ENTER IN
Release the pain and the past. Let peace enter your life. Go forward, thinking no longer of the past, but of peace and the present. Enjoy today and start looking forward to the future.

Pastor Renee

WHO ARE YOU?

I remember being young and observing what was "considered" pretty. I hated being so skinny, I looked like Olive oil with my boney knees and big eyes busting out of my beenie head. I wished my hair was longer, hated my long chin and had a hard time finding which “category” I’d fit into. My neighborhood was black, white and Hispanic. My family and friends were black, all of my caregivers were Puerto Rican and my schools were predominately Italian. When it came to friends; I wasn’t black enough for the black girls, wasn’t light enough for the Spanish girls and was considered “safe” for the white girls. My friends consisted of mostly fair skinned black girls, boisterous Italian girls and Puerto Ricans. My boy crushes were light skinned pretty boys and I wore reddish lipstick because it made me look lighter. 

I didn’t really question who I was until I got older and tired of hearing these statements of qualifying acceptance per peer group. Black girls would say, “You must be mixed cause you have that good hair”. Spanish girls would say, “You’re pretty because you have a nice complexion and your hair is not nappy, it’s curly like Dominicans”. White girls would say, “You’re not like the mean black girls from the projects. You go to good schools and your parents have a nice home”. I started to become offended at the insulting complements and felt I needed to prove myself around each race; I could be tough, dance salsa and sound well educated! But who was I really?

By high school I became more comfortable in my skin and decided to be me; a beautiful black, young lady with a crazy personality and whole lot of guts! I rejected statements like “good hair” because I believe all hair is good and I found Afro’s and kinks just as beautiful as any other hair, I stopped hiding from the sun and became proud of my beautiful brown tanned skin. I didn’t care who accepted me because I actually liked me just fine; I dated guys of all races and shades and friends of all races were drawn to me not for what was on the outside but the inside; for my personality. I decided that I am just me, as I am and I didn’t need to make any adjustments to fit in anywhere. Love yourself in your skin, with your hair, skinny, heavy set, tall, short and whatever you have it is only yours so work it! If you like it, they will love it. Be you!

Anonymous Writer

REINVENT YOU

“Reinvent: to invent again or anew, to remake or make over, to bring back, revive”

Have you ever found yourself so locked into the molds of others that you lost you? As grand as life is, many become encumbered by the expectations, desires and hopes of everyone but themselves. This type of neglect to self can become very disheartening and ultimately result in behavior patterns that are not noteworthy and decisions that negatively impact self and everything that surrounds, if you know what I mean.

The power of stigmas over your life is coming to an end. It’s time to take back the control. It’s time to break the mold and REINVENT you!

Stop allowing the dictates of others to supersede the goals, plans and desires you have for yourself. Understand that what God has put in you to be and to do is more important than the desire of anyone or anything. Yes, it’s good to have the approval of those that are significant in your course of life, but it’s not good to depend on those approvals for your motivation.

SELF motivate, SELF empower, SELF invent!

Do not go another day without redefining your goals and desires. Make sure that they are in alignment with what you know God has spoken concerning you. Wear the fashion YOU like. Rock that hair style like nobody’s business. Love you. Revive those dreams. Your success and happiness are depending on you. Start today. Start now. Start again. Find yourself and let the reinvention begin.

“And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude].” Ephesians 4:23 AMP

Pastor Renee 

THAT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU

I was so excited; 14 years old and the cutie of the block asked me to go to the movies?! “It was a date”, I thought. I knocked on the door and when he opened it I remember thinking, “he wasn’t even dressed”. But God he moved so fast. He shut the door, turned off the lights and we hit the floor. “STOP”, “its okay” he said as he proceeded to take my pants down just enough to invade. After losing the struggle I just laid there with tears rolling down my face as he pounded away…we never made it to the movies.

Of course his version of the story made street credit headlines and I was featured as the loose cannon. I tried to defend my reputation without sharing the embarrassment with the world, but only one person believed the truth. This was because apparently I wasn’t the only young lady privileged to be forced into lover boy’s “lights out” romantic technique. I know that’s not who I was and what really happened. What I wanted for myself in life was not going to end that night in that room. What happened to me was painful (emotionally and physically), confusing, embarrassing and traumatizing. But it does not define who I am today or even who I was a week after it happened. I saw my aggressor years later, our eyes met and by his expression I knew he felt my recovery burning through him. I felt stronger than him, smarter than him, I was not that little girl so anxious for his attention I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. With growth, support and love I had overcome his moments of abuse and it had not defined me! If something like this happens to you, tell an adult you can really trust and then seek recovery through counsel, prayer and forgiveness. You can never get that “moment” back but you have a lifetime of better moments ahead of you. 

Anonymous Writer