IT'S TIME TO LET IT GO

We all have experienced offense in some way or form, by something or someone. Sadly, this all too familiar act too often becomes an impediment instead of a stepping stone for some. I've come to the conclusion based on my own experience, that in order to keep my life healthy and productive, I have to be  willing to let things and people go when they've offended me. If offense is overworking your soul, do something about it. Stop walking around offended and regain your peace. Here's a good way to start:

1. FORGIVE
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

2. COMMIT TO LETTING GO
Some things take time to let go, so commit to changing, because you recognize that you're only hurting yourself by not letting go.Carrying around negative feelings drain your resources.Not letting go adds more stress and anxiety to your mindset and physical body. 

3. EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE TO MOVE ON
Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others, and shouldn’t try. But you can control your actions and your thoughts. Stop reliving the hurt, and choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to exercise it. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

4. UNDERSTAND YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Try to figure out how or if you could have been partially responsible for what happened. Realize that you are not a victim but a participant in life.

5. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT
Realize that the past is over. It isn’t happening anymore, except in your mind. Bring your focus back to the present moment. Find the joy in life now, as it happens, and stop reliving the past.You may start thinking about the past, but just acknowledge that, and gently bring yourself back to the present 

6. ALLOW PEACE TO ENTER IN
Release the pain and the past. Let peace enter your life. Go forward, thinking no longer of the past, but of peace and the present. Enjoy today and start looking forward to the future.

Pastor Renee

WHO ARE YOU?

I remember being young and observing what was "considered" pretty. I hated being so skinny, I looked like Olive oil with my boney knees and big eyes busting out of my beenie head. I wished my hair was longer, hated my long chin and had a hard time finding which “category” I’d fit into. My neighborhood was black, white and Hispanic. My family and friends were black, all of my caregivers were Puerto Rican and my schools were predominately Italian. When it came to friends; I wasn’t black enough for the black girls, wasn’t light enough for the Spanish girls and was considered “safe” for the white girls. My friends consisted of mostly fair skinned black girls, boisterous Italian girls and Puerto Ricans. My boy crushes were light skinned pretty boys and I wore reddish lipstick because it made me look lighter. 

I didn’t really question who I was until I got older and tired of hearing these statements of qualifying acceptance per peer group. Black girls would say, “You must be mixed cause you have that good hair”. Spanish girls would say, “You’re pretty because you have a nice complexion and your hair is not nappy, it’s curly like Dominicans”. White girls would say, “You’re not like the mean black girls from the projects. You go to good schools and your parents have a nice home”. I started to become offended at the insulting complements and felt I needed to prove myself around each race; I could be tough, dance salsa and sound well educated! But who was I really?

By high school I became more comfortable in my skin and decided to be me; a beautiful black, young lady with a crazy personality and whole lot of guts! I rejected statements like “good hair” because I believe all hair is good and I found Afro’s and kinks just as beautiful as any other hair, I stopped hiding from the sun and became proud of my beautiful brown tanned skin. I didn’t care who accepted me because I actually liked me just fine; I dated guys of all races and shades and friends of all races were drawn to me not for what was on the outside but the inside; for my personality. I decided that I am just me, as I am and I didn’t need to make any adjustments to fit in anywhere. Love yourself in your skin, with your hair, skinny, heavy set, tall, short and whatever you have it is only yours so work it! If you like it, they will love it. Be you!

Anonymous Writer

REINVENT YOU

“Reinvent: to invent again or anew, to remake or make over, to bring back, revive”

Have you ever found yourself so locked into the molds of others that you lost you? As grand as life is, many become encumbered by the expectations, desires and hopes of everyone but themselves. This type of neglect to self can become very disheartening and ultimately result in behavior patterns that are not noteworthy and decisions that negatively impact self and everything that surrounds, if you know what I mean.

The power of stigmas over your life is coming to an end. It’s time to take back the control. It’s time to break the mold and REINVENT you!

Stop allowing the dictates of others to supersede the goals, plans and desires you have for yourself. Understand that what God has put in you to be and to do is more important than the desire of anyone or anything. Yes, it’s good to have the approval of those that are significant in your course of life, but it’s not good to depend on those approvals for your motivation.

SELF motivate, SELF empower, SELF invent!

Do not go another day without redefining your goals and desires. Make sure that they are in alignment with what you know God has spoken concerning you. Wear the fashion YOU like. Rock that hair style like nobody’s business. Love you. Revive those dreams. Your success and happiness are depending on you. Start today. Start now. Start again. Find yourself and let the reinvention begin.

“And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude].” Ephesians 4:23 AMP

Pastor Renee 

THAT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU

I was so excited; 14 years old and the cutie of the block asked me to go to the movies?! “It was a date”, I thought. I knocked on the door and when he opened it I remember thinking, “he wasn’t even dressed”. But God he moved so fast. He shut the door, turned off the lights and we hit the floor. “STOP”, “its okay” he said as he proceeded to take my pants down just enough to invade. After losing the struggle I just laid there with tears rolling down my face as he pounded away…we never made it to the movies.

Of course his version of the story made street credit headlines and I was featured as the loose cannon. I tried to defend my reputation without sharing the embarrassment with the world, but only one person believed the truth. This was because apparently I wasn’t the only young lady privileged to be forced into lover boy’s “lights out” romantic technique. I know that’s not who I was and what really happened. What I wanted for myself in life was not going to end that night in that room. What happened to me was painful (emotionally and physically), confusing, embarrassing and traumatizing. But it does not define who I am today or even who I was a week after it happened. I saw my aggressor years later, our eyes met and by his expression I knew he felt my recovery burning through him. I felt stronger than him, smarter than him, I was not that little girl so anxious for his attention I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. With growth, support and love I had overcome his moments of abuse and it had not defined me! If something like this happens to you, tell an adult you can really trust and then seek recovery through counsel, prayer and forgiveness. You can never get that “moment” back but you have a lifetime of better moments ahead of you. 

Anonymous Writer