WHO ARE YOU?

I remember being young and observing what was "considered" pretty. I hated being so skinny, I looked like Olive oil with my boney knees and big eyes busting out of my beenie head. I wished my hair was longer, hated my long chin and had a hard time finding which “category” I’d fit into. My neighborhood was black, white and Hispanic. My family and friends were black, all of my caregivers were Puerto Rican and my schools were predominately Italian. When it came to friends; I wasn’t black enough for the black girls, wasn’t light enough for the Spanish girls and was considered “safe” for the white girls. My friends consisted of mostly fair skinned black girls, boisterous Italian girls and Puerto Ricans. My boy crushes were light skinned pretty boys and I wore reddish lipstick because it made me look lighter. 

I didn’t really question who I was until I got older and tired of hearing these statements of qualifying acceptance per peer group. Black girls would say, “You must be mixed cause you have that good hair”. Spanish girls would say, “You’re pretty because you have a nice complexion and your hair is not nappy, it’s curly like Dominicans”. White girls would say, “You’re not like the mean black girls from the projects. You go to good schools and your parents have a nice home”. I started to become offended at the insulting complements and felt I needed to prove myself around each race; I could be tough, dance salsa and sound well educated! But who was I really?

By high school I became more comfortable in my skin and decided to be me; a beautiful black, young lady with a crazy personality and whole lot of guts! I rejected statements like “good hair” because I believe all hair is good and I found Afro’s and kinks just as beautiful as any other hair, I stopped hiding from the sun and became proud of my beautiful brown tanned skin. I didn’t care who accepted me because I actually liked me just fine; I dated guys of all races and shades and friends of all races were drawn to me not for what was on the outside but the inside; for my personality. I decided that I am just me, as I am and I didn’t need to make any adjustments to fit in anywhere. Love yourself in your skin, with your hair, skinny, heavy set, tall, short and whatever you have it is only yours so work it! If you like it, they will love it. Be you!

Anonymous Writer