Blessed and Highly favored.... But Tired

Like in any other community, through the communication within the church environment cultural languages and phrases of expressions seem to develop. My favorite phrase is "blessed and highly favored". The words come in handy especially when you're going through turmoil on the inside, but you really can't let your brother or sister in Christ know. Remember now that you are Christian, so you should be walking on streets of gold daily just picking Skittles off the trees as you pass by. 
The truth be told- we don't always taste the rainbow. Lately the phrase  Blessed and highly favored tends to warn that there is a dot, dot, dot to follow.

I must admit that it has saved me many times. The fake smile, then follows " oh I am blessed and highly favored, then comes an inner scream- "I AM TIRED!"
Blessed but I don't see it. I left Sunday service all pumped up, and I received my promises. A day passes, two, one week, two months, one year. My fuel is running low, and my flame starts to flicker. I planned for the event, but the waiting game is draining me.

The Tantrum
Well what's the sense in going to church. Nothing is coming to pass.
My girlfriend said she wanted to invite to her house warming. What about my house Lord?
Other friends are getting married in my face, and Valentine's Day- Bah Humbug.
I just met one of the guys I graduated from college with, and he handed me his business card 
VP of Finance- hmmm I ought to throw it in the trash. I don't see the doors opening for me. 
After rolling on the floor a few times, and belting my complains I realize that this is not getting God's attention. Instead, I have gone from tired to worn out- too exhausted to even recognize a blessing if it were right in front of my face.

Learning to Wait
When I was a child I watched my mom preparing something called Roti, by placing a pizza-like dough on a flat, oiled sheet of cast iron placed on the stove. I asked her for a piece an she stated that it was not yet ready. As she turned her back I placed my hand on the blazing hot cast iron to reach the Roti. As good as it must have tasted when it was ready I was in too much pain to even think about eating anything.
I am learning that how we react during our waiting period is just as important as the blessing that follows.
Waiting on a husband/wife? Is my debt to the ceiling? Can I cook, or is he going to have pick up something on the way home everyday? I have witnessed situations where the outside meal stopped coming from a restaurant.
Do I love myself, or is he going to have to nurse me every day; no one can carry someone else forever.
How about the the house you're waiting on God for? Currently are the bills paid on time. Is your current residence clean, or are the stacks of dishes soaking in the sink.
Waiting for the promotion? What are you doing now to prepare? What skills are you willing to capture to ensure that you are always sought after in your company? Are the tithe and offerings being paid consistently out of the blessing of your current job?

One of the simplest yet most important lessons for me is learning to be thankful for what I have now. No matter what God blesses me with, there will always be someone with what SEEMS TO BE bigger or better. If I am not thankful for my now blessings, I will wear myself out trying to keep up with my environment, and miss the great vision God has for my life.

Anonymous Writer

SETTLE DOWN

Because we live in a transient era, nothing seems to be permanent or concrete. Everything is changeable....even God's wonderful creation, the human sex. And because we are significantly impacted by our environment, we find ourselves always on the move, constantly making modifications, never being satisfied. Dissatisfaction is the root of our transient behavior. Nothing seems to satisfy us long term. The satisfaction we do enjoy is temporali at best, and then we are on to the next thing. What a life.

It's time for us to take a deeper look at the meaning of settling down, or as my Jamaican friend says "settle yourself". To settle down is "to  become established in some routine, especially upon marrying, after a period of independence or indecision; to become calm or quiet; to apply oneself to serious work." We are too busy bouncing around trying to be accepted, trying to be important, trying to find happiness instead of establishing ourselves in things that really matter. If we are not physically busy, our minds pick up the slack. And the sad part about it is that our thoughts become busy, unproductive and wearisome. We all know this can be more exhausting than a full days work. So why won't we calm ourselves and settle down?

Are we afraid of committing to something grand? Or have we become complacent with chasing meager things? I personally believe it's a combination of both. Trust me, I know! 

So what's the key to this on-going and growing epidemic? FOCUS. Yes, focus. We take lightly the disorder that's become so common, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), not realizing that we display some of the typical behavior associated with this disorder, such as: the inability to concentrate for sustained periods, acting impulsively, extreme distractibility. Any of these sound exclusive? Without focus, we will never be settled in any area of our lives. Settling down will be virtually impossible. 

God desires us to settle down. The first area of settling should be spiritually. We must become settled spiritually in order for that to exuberate into our natural, daily existence. This type of settling is only accomplished through Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG) How awesome is that? When we settle down in Jesus Christ, a grace enters our lives that enables us to focus, concentrate, and act with purpose. This alone should encourage someone, knowing we don't have to do this on our own. All we have to do is BELIEVE in our hearts that Jesus Christ is our Savior and make a confession of Faith that He is Lord over our lives, in order to gain access to this great benefit. I'm not referring to a religion, I'm speaking of a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you're tired of being busy but not fulfilled, settle down in Jesus Christ, He can make that possible for you. Don't knock Him until you've tried Him. Act now!

Pastor Renee

THE CRUSH

You like him and hopes he likes you back. It's so hard to tell because he flirts with you and it feels like it's especially for you, but he flirts with the others too. So you go out of your way to win over his attention but he always seems to find something wrong with you; trying to change who you are, or he's constantly pressuring to get in your pants, or he's the typical womanizer. Now you're dealing with heartbreak, unhappiness, self humiliation, insecurity, and just mentally twisted until you feel stuck and empty. Eventually you dig up your self respect, get rid of this joker and move on to the next predator. Don't you hate this continuos cycle?

But then you find Him! He's nothing like the rest of them, He loves you exactly how you are, never turns His back on you. That acceptance you were seeking is evident and He makes you feel special. This is a real love that makes you smile every morning when you wake up and gives you a confidence to walk with your head high as you turn down the other cats hollering at you as you walk by. No one makes you feel like He does and no one ever will. This is what it is to have a relationship with God. He will build you up, make you whole, guide you, keep you safe and when you least expect it He'll send that right guy your way.

Anonymous Writer

SAMARITAN SYNDROME

The Bible mentions the inferior status the citizens of Samaria held in the eyes of the Jews. In those days as far as the Jews were concerned Samaritans were contaminated and publicly cursed. They could not serve in Jewish courts, and could never become Jews.

For this very reason a Samaritan woman almost missed out on the invaluable networking opportunity with Jesus Himself. Before even finding out who was the man asking her for a drink of water from her well, she allowed an inferiority complex to overcome her. How could she have anything to offer a Jew? Something must be wrong with this man. Does he  not know that she is a woman of Samaria? If only she knew who was gracing her presence, but to her it didn't matter. The limits ensured that all she could see was a Jew, and that she was a Samaritan- inferior and unworthy.

I know what it's like to struggle with Samaritan Syndrome. The Samaritan label seemed to trump any positive idea concerning who I was; a place of undeserving, less than, unattractive, not tall enough, hair not thick enough, unable to embrace and love me.

The seemingly normal act of walking into a room of people was near traumatic for me. 
"I know that look she doesn't like me." Those people in the corner are laughing- what are they saying about me?" That girl over there is shaped like an hour glass, I know I should have worn something else. Mmmm that man over there is the "bomb.com". He must have some model girl friend. Why is he coming over her? He probably just wants to ask me where the restroom is. I am definitely not his type. Oh, and about that job why apply? There are so many people more qualified than I am.
Every negative opinion, social stigma, and distorted view became my baggage.

Cutting it loose- DEJUNKING

Someone once told me that my glasses were the wrong prescription. Changing my lenses was the first step to accepting who I was. This meant I needed to find the facts that justified the existence of every piece of junk i dragged along. No dictionary definition or Google concept surfaced proof that I was that I was not attractive. Instead, I met people who complimented my smile, and my big heart. I also managed to find some gorgeous people who had the jacked up personalities.

Undeserving- case dismissed because of a lack of evidence. Instead, I couldn't find a ruler long enough to measure the countless blessings in my life; family, friendships, a roof over my head, health... the list goes on.

I am only disqualified if I allow myself to be. A closed door does not stop me from moving forward- that's what detours are for. As for the Jews, they do not have the power to tie my hands; I swing them around my shoulders, lift my head up, and embrace me.

Anonymous Writer

PRECIOUS

Precious- tall, Cover Girl body, and a flawless complexion,  just enough curves, and calves that command a pair of skinny jeans.  Remember no lines or sags, and definitely not the forbidden muffin top. Grey hairs must be shaved or colored.

Precious- A six-figure salary, Manager or Director title on the office door, and its all about that gold piece of metal on your shoe or hand bag ..... Prada, Gucci, Chanel. Oh yes walk that runway, you are precious.

Precious- A PHD or a rich hubby. For the men, a trophy wife is a must have. Ladies, remember your list.... Denzel features are a plus. It doesn't matter that I'm with Mr. Gorgeous, and still counting sheep to fall asleep at night

Precious- A "Social Butterfly", no less than 200 friends on Facebook, and an iPhone that's constantly blowing up. Always have places to go, or people to see- never a follower, always a leader

I read that the pearl (such a precious gem) is not that precious to the oyster that produces it. In fact it is splinter-like substance that happens to get into the oyster. In an attempt to deal with the discomfort, a coating is placed over the splinter until the pearl is formed.  Every pearl is unique.

Precious Redefined

All shapes, sizes and shades...

And my lines- they accentuate my smile. I might not be attractive to you, but every slice of bread has a cheese that's just the right flavor.

Precious- I might not earn a six figure salary but I run a fruitful business with integrity (at home as well as in the workplace). It might not be Prada, but fashion does not define me. Whether I socially fly or quietly strategize, I am still loved. I determine how large my circle of love is, not a social network. I can do the Electric Slide at my BFF's wedding instead of leaving right after the ceremony to go shop myself out of Singleness Syndrome. I rock whether I am in or out of a relationship.

Precious is loving myself with a boldness that silences the sounds of critics, and other members of my peanut gallery. Overcoming my valleys on my journey toward my mountain tops- making my splinters into a string of pearls. I strike a pose because

I AM PRECIOUS.

Anonymous Writer

HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?

"Bandz a make her dance", "Pour it Up-Pour it Up", "A$$", "Low-low-low", "Rack City", "Right Round", etc. these are just some examples of popping songs that when we hear them we like to get it crunk on the dance floor and some of us like to follow the directions of the song and "bend it over girl let me see that a-- shake...". Being a stripper has completely been glamorized as this sexy, popular, money making, desired, celebrity life style. Ladies; from experience I can tell you it is a degrading, DIRTY, disrespectful, alcohol & drug induced, violating, hustle that will swallow you up and keep you trapped until you can't find a way out. You become an object and not a person, there is a price on your precious privates and it's as cheap as one dollar. Men and women pay to put their filthy hands on you, have you grind on their genitals and the more generous you are the more money you make. 

Many of times I've found myself avoiding dangerous situations, being spoken down to by some sleeze holding cash in his hands acting as if I belong to him for that moment and I kept thinking "I am better than this". I know, I know "Shorty's working her grind, don't hate" and I don't hate, but I certainly cannot congratulate! I can only encourage that if this is your hustle make a plan to get out! 

Find what you genuinely enjoy doing and pursue that goal. You are more than "a piece of a--"; you are a beautiful, intelligent, gifted woman and there are so many opportunities in this country available to you to not just "make money" but be successful. Close your eyes and envision yourself preparing a life and future for you and your children and have a healthy relationship with that special someone who will love and respect you. Look in the mirror and see yourself as more than just those beautiful curves. You are in control of your destiny, just seek your goal and reach for it. Don't stop pushing and don't quit. It may be hard work, but remember you're worth it...because God said so!

Anonymous Writer